Human effect

Everyone can see a difference in these two sets of photos. What makes it happen? Set 1 is all about what we love and why we admire horses. Set 2 is what we make of them.

Spirit. Freedom. Joie de vivre!

And what do we make of them? All I see in these photos below are horses that have given up, I see pain and sorrow in their eyes. They are nothing but soulless shells, spirit has left and only the body is there to serve humans like a machine.



I mean really, where do we go wrong? What is it in human nature that leads us so far from where I think most of us start our journey with horses?

Spending time

Yesterday Olga was very eager to do something. She practically dived in her halter when I came to ask her out.

First she wanted to go to the arena.


After a lot of rolling she was ready to go again.

"Come on, let's go already!"

She led me into the woods.


She was very happy to find a lot of different things to savor.


Whe had this much snow yesterday, today we got some more.

"HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!"

Differently and "differently"

"My horse is stopping a lot. What should I do?"

Advice #1: You have to figure out if your horse is Whoa-type or Go-type and work on a way that is described on Parelli's "How to turn a living creature in to a machine, level 5"-manual.

Advice #2: Keep pushing, release when it moves. You cannot let it think it is in charge!

Advice #3: Lack of respect. Nothing that a few Join-ups in a round pen wouldn't fix!

Advice #4: Make it back up every time it stops. This should help because horses don't like backing up.

Advice #5: Yielding excercises.

This is from finnish forum called Toisinhevostelijat, it doesn't really translate but it's something like 'to be with horses, differently'.

No one is suggesting to listen what this horse has to say. Makes me a bit sad.

Trust

We had more snow on saturday :)

Now that I have sometimes climbed up on Olga's back, I haven't fully understood how much she already trusts me. I feel quite safe in there, when we are in our arena. I actually went for a short trail ride with her one time but we were not ready for that so we ended up walking with six feet on the ground most of that trip. But it was still ok, because I listened to Olga and my "gut feel" so nothing bad happened.

On saturday I was again riding, and actually we got our second-ever riding lesson from this lady "K" who owns the place where Olga lives. I like her style in teaching, and she lets me do my own thing.

First she asked me what is my next goal. I said I'd like it a lot if we could start building trust so that we can maybe some day go for a trail ride with others. We started with a kind of one hand stop, where the aim is to stop a horse only by moving my hand over her withers to the other side. Well Olga was very good at that. K told me that Olga is an excellent horse, really at ease but ready to do what I ask for.

Then I asked if K could ride Olga. I told her that there aren't many people I would let do that and so she got up there. Olga was tence. Really tence. She would not even walk, she was dancing in tölt, very nervous. K said she felt like sitting on a barrel full of gunpowder. After two rounds she still did not get Olga to relax and just walk, so she asked if I could walk with them. That way we convinced Olga that she did not have to worry and she was more at ease. After that, K told me to ride few laps. When I got up there, Olga turned to sniff my boot, then shook her head, and let out a sigh of relief. And we walked.

It sounds a lot worse than it was, of course I would've stopped it if Olga would seem to be terrified. K said it was an enlightening experience for her, that she now understands Olga a lot better, and that I should never let anyone else ride Olga again, that she clearly needs that bond of trust to be able to cope with it. She also told me that in her opinion, what I have done (or have NOT done, as I've taken things veeeeeryyyy slowly) with Olga in this past year has been exactly what she needs.

It was wonderful to hear. And it was wonderful to realize what we already got. Trust. Wow.

Good night, Olga!

Few summery pics of me and Olga :)

Video once again

This should be available even for those who are not members on Facebook. Nothing special here, I just think she is so cute :)

New video

I was standing on a pedestal at first so that's why Olga looks so miniatyre :)




Yesterday I was moved to tears when Olga asked for my help. We were inside, fitting a western saddle. Suddenly Olga put her head on my hands, and stayed there for a while. She never does that. I noticed she had a long splinter sticking out of her nostril. It was really tight in there, and it must have hurt when I took it off, but she stayed put. After I got it off, she still wanted me to hug her head.

I have no friends

... at least I didn't have anyone with me when I went to see Olga yesterday, and therefore I had to make a video myself :) I also had to cover all the funny sounds I make with this boooring music. It is interesting to see how much it is changing her that I am concentrating on my phone this much. She is just getting started here, I finished filming and started to play with her after this and she was full of sparkle. Some day someone could film that too :)

Changes

Olga is now living solo because she eats different hay than the others. She will be getting visitors from the other side (of the fence!) or maybe even someone special, we'll see about that later. Luckily she does not mind living like this, she still feels like part of the herd.


This is Olga's new "studio apartment", the hole in the wall is for scratching with her friends. It is very important that they get to scratch each others so that they stay connected.



This is her new hay feeder which she hated at first. Now that she has understood that this way her hay will not run out, she is more at ease. She also has one hay net hanging from a tree, I made it of some kind of golf net.





Olga had her meal a bit later than the others yesterday, her neighbours seemed to be somewhat jealous ;)

the sweetest thing

I felt very touched the other day when I was going to take Olga out for a walk. She was already standing by the gate, but when she saw me and the halter, she started to nodd her head the exact same way she does when I approach with her hay or meal.

I gladly took it as a confirmation that I am on the right path here.



I uploaded this photo in my facebook page and wrote (jokingly) that I am so boring that my horse falls asleep. My dear friend Sanni (do go & see her art!) commented that Olga feels so safe that she can take a nap because she knows I'll take care of her. Isn't that sweet :)

a quick thought

Would it make any sense to say that horses act as wisely as one gives them credit for?

Maybe with a double meaning: one only sees what one believes to be possible, but also in the sense that they really can be quite dull if one only exploits them. Use a horse like ATV and it will show itself equally clever.

Like I said, just a thought. I think I'll keep this to myself and giggle when someone says they have a dumb horse.

On June's request

I'll try to write something about what I've learned in Nooras clinics, I've been very lucky to participate in many of them during these 2 years she has been giving them.

Presence
It is always about this very moment - we try to learn to be in the moment, because for the horse it must look like only our shell is there and the inner is gone, if we let our minds travel in time. Horses don't do that, and they cannot understand it. For them it's always about right here and right now.

Authenticity
Noora talks about "masks" that people are wearing, how the horses never see what we try to be, but who we really are. So we need to find our way back to our pure inner self. No masks, no ego.
We need to find the courage to look at the things horses mirror back to us, when they try to help us see.

Devotion
I didn't want to title this last one Love so I put devotion, sounds fancier. But it is the same. What we give, we get. Everything we do with horses, should be done with warm heart. We should not only thank for good job, we should stay grateful for their willingness to teach us.

All animals gathered around us during our sessions

I asked A-M, the hostess of our last clinic, to write something too, which she kindly did:

"I have been twice on Noora´s clinic. It looks like we mainly work with our horses in order to find new balance, or actually a new path to go together with them. But for me it appeared like a painful battle in my soul and mind before any light was there. During the last year I have been asking myself why on earth my mare ever came into my life, because she is so "difficult". Now she has given me very deep and honest answers which came clear to me during the clinic. She is like a photo of my true inner reality today. What she explained was the message to stay calm and peaceful, this is "feet strongly and softly on earth", what ever happens. She asked me to keep my limits, the physical as well as mental ones, too.

The magic of Noora is her true authenticity and the ability to live in that very moment. She has extraordinary sensible antennas for what is going on in peoples as well as in horses minds and hearts from moment to moment. She gives people place and time to figure themselves out what is it all about. This means she is truthful in her words, but never hard and gets something broken."

lessons

Few weeks back I was attending Noora Ehnqvist's course in this amazing old farm with wonderful, open and warm people. We were having good lessons from horses, getting a hang of how to really see the horse, be aware of ourselves and horses and how to stay in the moment, not letting our minds drift away.

In the middle of day two I received a phone call telling me that a couple that were really good friends of me and my husband had died in a car accident. It didn't really sink until I went back to where all the people were, and tried to say it, to explain why I wasn't ready to go get a horse and go to picadero. I was lucky to be where I was when getting these news, all that empathy really helped me to deal with all my emotions. And, after a while, I did go to picadero to be with Milla, the finn horse.

It has never been easier to stay present in the moment, it was too painful to let my mind wander. Milla was the best comforter, she just breathed with me and kept me there, noticing all the birds singing and trees swaying, sun warming us, and the ground under my feet. At some point, Noora asked me how I felt, and all the emotions came back, crushing me. At that point I looked at Milla, and a single teardrop fell from her eye.

Heart & mind

Few lines from Connecting with Horses by Margrit Coates:



"Professor Candace Pert has confirmed that every cell in the body has its own "mind" and she has discovered that the heart and the body send messages to each other through chains of amino acids, previously thought to exist only in the brain. Scientists at the Institute of HeartMath in the U.S. have discovered neurons -brain cells of the type shown to have memory- in the heart."



"Further research has shown that communication between heart and brain is an ongoing dynamic and two-way dialogue. These scientists have also discovered that when people hold hands, one person's heartbeat can be measured in the other's brain waves."

Today I've thought a lot about why humans have developed this brain thinking and finds it somehow more useful? Is that the reason we've lost contact with nature? How could I start training my heart, so that I would have better connection with horses? Would it be possible to really write from my heart, without brain interfering? How would it change us if we'd suddenly realize our intellect brain is much less cool than the ability to use your heart the way it's maybe supposed to be used..?

So in another words today I've used my brains a lot. Maybe tomorrow will be better and I get to strenghten my heart neurons :)

Connecting with Horses

"When you meet, your senses are submerged, your heart recognises someone you know from a long time ago in your evolution. The wise eyes hold your attention, seeing you within and without, the presence is unique and listens attentively in a way that no one else has ever done before.
You bare your soul and by acute observations of your thoughts and emotions the teacher can change your life. You reach out and touch the loving face, feel the warm breath on your hands, stroke the soft body.

You are saved.

This guide is your horse, and all horses in the world."

Connecting with horses by Margrit Coates

Here you can take a look at this book.

Videos

I uploaded few videos.

Olga rolling

the gang

Wagtail is helping Olga

Laminitis

Olga has got laminitis on her hind legs :( I should've been more careful, I made many mistakes. It's only 'mild case' but still. She is fat, her hooves got way to long and then I throw her to this big pasture to eat all day... I should've known better.


Olga, however, has not read her diagnose, as she seems to be quite happy and content even with restrictions on her food and moving around. Maybe she is trying to cheer me up.

Editing on 22/7: I just noticed that Olga looks quite not so fat in the picture above, so to get the whole truth, I have to add another picture...

"Naked Liberty" by Resnick

I am reading Carolyn Resnick's Naked Liberty at the moment, and although I'm still in the very beginning, I've already found some good examples on how to describe "my truth" to people who find it interesting. I wrote down some of them in here so I'll remember them.

* This magnetic connection with horses is like the one that twins have, or migrating geese, or large school of fish escaping an attack.

* No horse should be made to perform. We must seek his permission and fulfill his requirement for companionship.

* When you are in the company of your horse, he should have your full attention. A person that is most aware of his horse at every moment has the most dependable horse.

I think I'll have to buy this book. First few chapters you'll find in here: Naked Liberty

PS. I use the expression "my truth" because I still find it very difficult to start to tell people what I am doing and where I am aiming with my way of being with horses, and it is still sometimes not so easy to act accordingly, but my sense of right and wrong in this path is very strong. So, it is something I "know" deep down, but a lot of it does not have words.

to learn from animal being

Nearer to the earth’s heart,

Deeper within its silence:
Animals know this world
In a way we never will.

We who are ever
Distanced and distracted
By the parade of bright
Windows thought opens:
Their seamless presence
Is not fractured thus.

Stranded between time
Gone and time emerging,
We manage seldom
To be where we are:
Whereas they are always
Looking out from
The here and now.

May we learn to return
And rest in the beauty
Of animal being,
Learn to lean low,
Leave our locked minds,
And with freed senses
Feel the earth
Breathing with us.

May we enter
Into lightness of spirit,
And slip frequently into
The feel of the wild.

Let the clear silence
Of our animal being
Cleanse our hearts
Of corrosive words.

May we learn to walk
Upon the earth
With all their confidence
And clear-eyed stillness

So that our minds
Might be baptized
In the name of the wind
And the light and the rain.

from Benedictus by John O’Donohue

Happy couple :)

Olga and Alvar are really close, Alvar is "protecting" Olga from other geldings, he is always blocking their way and telling everyone Olga is his property. Olga seems to like it this way.


Sometimes she "sneaks out" though, when Alvar is not paying attention :)


As soon as she does that, one of the two other geldings try to get her attention.


But no worries, she can continue her favourite hobby (eating) as her knight in shining armor rushes to the rescue!

New place to stay

Olga moved on tuesday.



Everything went very well.





She seems happy now.



She's got new friends!



..and also "Someone Special"..



Meet Alvar. Isn't he handsome?!

Mystery plants

Every plant is a mystery plant for me.



"It is only when we forget all our learning that we begin to know. I do not get nearer by a hair's breadth to any natural object so long as I presume that I have an introduction to it from some learned man. To conceive of it with a total apprehension I must for the thousandth time approach it as something totally strange. If you would make acquaintance with the ferns you must forget your botany. You must get rid of what is commonly called knowledge of them. Not a single scientific term or distinction is the least to the purpose, for you would fain perceive something, and you must approach the object totally unprejudiced. You must be aware that no thing is what you have taken it to be. In what book is this world and its beauty described ? Who has plotted the steps toward the discovery of beauty? You have got to be in a different state from common. Your greatest success will be simply to perceive that such things are, and you will have no communication to make to the Royal Society."
- Henry David Thoreau

My thoughts about horse keeping

Stormy wrote about Nevzorov's way of horse keeping. I noticed that I had a lot to say about it in her comment box so I thought I'd write about it.

First I got to mention here too, that Nevzorov's forum was a good place to find information when starting out. I haven't reached that point yet where I'd be inspired to start teaching any Haute Ecole moves to horses. Maybe it will be a step in my path too, who knows.


Mr Nevzorov has written: "Besides the rebuilding of the horse’s entire musculature, herd living makes a horse very primitive and stupid, and returns the horse to the world of primitive ideas and manners."

I don't know if that level of training that Nevzorov does is even possible without regulating or restricting horse's basic needs (as I understand them). If it isn't then for me it is needless.



Stormy wrote: "Can we know for sure that horses prefer a more wild existence?"

Well I think we can know for sure what horses prefer, when we give them freedom to choose. That I don't know if Nevzorov's horses have had. "Would you like to go out and play with your mates or come and learn some Latin?" If they would choose Latin, then I'd be impressed.



"They reveal knowledge that I think doesn't even exist in human perception and therefore cannot be named. Or maybe even should not be named." I wrote on the comment box of my earlier post. That I still believe to be true :)

What is stupid? What is wise? (Is Mr Nevzorov maybe not receiving the wisdom horses share with us when we are able to open our hearts and keep "mental contacts horizontal" as Mr Boone says it..?) I strongly dislike the idea that the intelligence of a horse should be measured in reading and writing. I do think that it is an dashing stunt to show people that horses do have brains, but I am actually hoping to have horses educating me - that is the New World where I'd like to go. Maybe Nevzorov is heading the same way but on a different path.

Olga - the best teacher I could've asked for

Maybe I should point out that I still am on the very beginning of this path and a lot of my writings is just my thoughts of how it should be, NOT how things are with me. So I am not speaking from my own experience, but what my heart tells is right. For me, and from my current point of view.

And this I find to be a good inspiration when planning horse keeping:
Respect Nature

Beginner's quide

I got this idea of making a beginner's guide to "this". (I would also like to find a real name to replace "this" with... ideas?)

It seems to me that more and more people are interested in "this". Usually they are asking what to do and how to start? There are of course teachers like Carolyn Resnick from whom you can certainly find directions with nicely named steps that have circled R after them. So I don't think of this guide as something that isn't invented yet :)

Stormy is telling people to join NHE which is also a good place to start, but with very strict rules that might scare off those who are in the very beginning.

I am also a bit hesitant in recommending anything that even remotely reminds me of "Parelli cult" or any sort of studying where people might forget about learning from horses, instead they think they can learn everything from some honored man/woman (or a computer..).

I had this idea already when I commented in June's blog about how freedom to choose seems to be quite easy way to "teach" horses their freedom of speech.

I just thought it would be nice to try to think of a sketch with some outlines?

(omg NKOTB starting to play in my head..)

step one (we can have lots of fun..)

Be available to your horse. Be around in the paddock, but let your horse decide if he/she wishes to be near or far. Learn to be present in every moment, like your horse always is.


step two (there's so much we can do..)

Learn the art of scratching. Find out what your horse likes about, and not only in scratching.


step three (It's just you and me..)

Be nice to your horse. Give treats. Appreciate and respect your horse. Forget about dominance (-schmominance) and control.


step four (I can give you more..)

Start to suggest action. Mutual playing, working, hiking... what ever the two of you like.


Step five (don't you know that the time has arrived..)

Grow together. Sky's the limit. Now it starts to get visible.


Huh!! Well the lyrics from 'Step by step' actually fits quite nice :D



How do you feel about these? Of course there are a lot of books to read and web pages to browse to get you in the right ground to start growing. But it doesn't look so bad when it has got 5 steps in it?

PS. Also a very good way to start is to read all my favourite blogs, that will most certainly set you in the right mood:

Kris
Lynne
Stormy
June
Máire

And one day I will dance with my horses

Today I've exhausted myself with stupidly arguing about my ways comparing to others. Then from Stormy's blog comments I find a link to Carolyn Resnick's blog where she writes about ways to make a difference.

Well, what to learn about this? Nothing much.

Just kidding. One day I, too, will dance with my horses.

Small changes, big changes

I was worried sick to see, how Olga would react when she and her paddock-friend Dani got company last weekend. Hanna, who has until now stayed with her stallion foal and uncle-Riki, moved in with grannies (Olga is 20, Dani 'only' 19). Hanna has always been leading mare and she does that effortlessly. So I was really worried they would have a huge fight with Olga. Luckily Hanna gave up really easy, few kicks and screams and that was it. Yesterday they were even scraching each others and sharing a pile of hay!



In few months, when the grass has grown, Olga will be moving to new place, which is somewhat closer to where I live, has 7 other icelandics in the same group, and they will be living in larger paddock, open stable with varied terrain. Looking forward to that!

Pigeonholing

Stormy May wrote about different levels on horse-human relationships.

I want to write down my "groups and charasteristics". After this, I will probably hear roulette spinning sounds in my head every time I meet new horse people. Maybe I'll even work out different sounds on different groups ;)

"traditional"

riding school
whips
spurs
bits
stronger bits
do-as-I-say-or-else!
horses are for riding

"natural horsemanship"

dominance
silenced, machine-like horses
pretty words - ugly actions (Ms Parelli-style)
strong judgement on "others"
horses are for riding

"Oneness, Kinship"

Horses "no" is respected, whenever possible (excl. veterinary treatments for example, which are of course made as easy as possible for the horse!)

Horses living conditions are carefully build to be as natural as possible. Friends, space, freedom to choose in whatever possible.

Horses are not meant to be ridden, but can be, if they truly and honestly wish to take a person on their back.

All punishing is forbidden, all force is avoided, all restraints are kept in minimal (meaning that when being with horse, the horse can at any time stop and/or leave.)

*****
I have got 3 cats, 1 dog and 1 horse. They all are equally my pets, and serve the same purpose. They have no duties or responsibilities in our life, I on the other hand do. I want to make sure they have a good life, on their scale. My "salary" is to see them happy, and it makes me happy.

Feel free to comment if you have anything to add to these groups.

I'm so excited!

(... and apparently I just can't hide it :D)

I have been sending inquiries to IMKE SPILKER concerning a clinic here in Finland.

It just might be possible to arrange one! It would be amazing, I'm sure of it!

(Alhough I have a feeling that Imke is not that sure. Maybe she has had not-so-good experiences with over-enthusiastic students in past, or maybe I just think I am 'ready' to receive the message she delivers.) Anyway, JEIJ!

Answering a question (Vastaus kysymykseen)

"I would like to read more specifically, how do you take Olga's views into account in everyday life. Do you do things only when she wants to or proposes? How does she express that she would or would not do something? Do you use treats?"

Thank you for your good question, anonymous reader, I will try my best to answer it! :)

Olga does not live at home with me, so I only get to spend time with her about 3-4 times a week. Usually I go to her pasture with a basket full of brushes and a long leadrope. Olga loooves brushing as she sheds already. I have tried to tell Olga how she can pick what brush I use, and where to use it on. After brushing, I usually ask if she would like to go for a walk, by attaching the lead rope to her halter. Nowadays she usually comes, earlier she did not like it because I took control when she was on the leadrope. The last couple of times Olga has taken me for a walk, she likes to go eating from a bale and then she usually wants to watch over the fields to see a herd of icelandic horses that lives nearby.

Olga learned this freedom of speech-thingie quickly , and it is really easy to see from her expression, what she wants and what not! For some reason, however, she always lets me attach the lead rope to her halter, before letting me know if she actually wants to go or not. If she doesn't, she turns away from me or even walks away. This has recently changed when I realized to give more power (and give up control) when 'leading', now she takes me for walks, I follow her around.

Olga also tells things by pointing with her nose. For example when she wants to rush me to open the gate she touches my hand and then points the handle with her nose. She does this like a clicker-trained dog, several times in a row, if I'm too slow :)

I use treats rarely, but always, when Olga has to 'obey', like when doing hoof care etc. Still she can speak her mind, of course, and that will be registered but I cannot always go and do stuff that she wants.

The aim of this journey is that one day both, respect and confidence, will function both ways, for both of us. So that things are done in co-decision, taking into account both opinions, mine and hers.

Kris wrote about this matter on her blog, it's a must-read!

(I'm sorry, I used a lot of google translator, so it might be crappy..)

:::::::::::::: IN FINNISH ::::::::::::::

"Haluaisin lukea vielä konkreettisemmin teidän päivistä, ja siitä miten otat ihan arjessa Olgan mielipiteet huomioon. Teettekö siis asoita vain hänen ehdotuksestaan? Miten poni sitten ilmaisee sen, että haluaa / ei halua tehdä jotain? Käytätkö makupaloja, tms?"

Kiitos hyvästä kysymyksestä anonyymille lukijalle, yritän vastata siihen parhaani mukaan! :)

Olga ei asu kotona vaan vuokralla ystävän tallissa, joten tapaan Olgaa vaan 3-4 kertaa viikossa. Yleensä menen Olgan luokse aitaukseen harjakorin ja pitkän köyden kanssa, Olga tulee mielellään harjattavaksi nyt karvanlähdön aikaan. Olen yrittänyt kertoa Olgalle kuinka hän voi vaikuttaa siihen millä harjalla harjaan, ja mistä kohtaa. Harjaamisen jälkeen yleensä ehdotan kävelemään lähtöä, viime aikoina Olga on lähtenyt mieluummin kun sai tässä taannoin minulle perille viestin siitä, että käyttäydyn aika töykeästi kun olen narun päässä. Pari viimeistä kertaa Olga on vienyt minua kävelylle, ensin pyöröpaalille, josta joudun hänet oman vatsantoimintansa takia pois pyytämään, ja sen jälkeen Olga yleensä haluaa päästä katselemaan peltojen yli naapuritallille, jossa on islanninhevosia.

Olga oppi nopeasti tämän sananvapautensa, ja on todella helppoa nähdä ilmeestä mitä hän haluaa ja mitä ei! Jostain syystä kuitenkin esimerkiksi antaa laittaa riimunnarun kiinni, ja kertoo sitten vasta (kääntymällä poispäin minusta happamalla naamalla/lähtemällä kävelemään poispäin minusta) ettei halua lähteä taluteltavaksi. Tämäkin tosin muuttui, kun tajusin antaa enemmän valtaa (ja luopua kontrollista) talutustilanteessa, nykyisin useimmiten Olga menee edellä ja minä tulen perässä...

Olga osaa myös kertoa asioita turvalla osoittamalla. Olga esimerkiksi hoputtaa minua avaamaan porttia tökkäämällä turvalla kättäni ja sen jälkeen 'osoittamalla' turvalla portin kädensijaa. Saattaa tehdä sen useita kertoja peräkkäin, jos olen liian hidas :)

Käytän makupaloja oikeastaan harvoin, mutta aina silloin, kun Olga joutuu taipumaan muiden tahtoon, eli esimerkiksi vuolun aikana. Silloinkin Olga saa toki kertoa mielipiteensä joka asiaan ja se 'rekisteröidään' mutta aina ei voi mennä ponin pään mukaan.

Pyrkimyksenä tällä matkalla on se, että jonakin päivänä molemminsuuntainen kunnioitus ja luottamus toimii niin, että asiat tehdään yhteispäätöksellä, ottaen huomioon kummankin kanta asiaan.

Saa kysyä lisää :)

Kris McCormack oli kirjoittanut hienon pätkän omaan blogiinsa tästä aiheesta, kannattaa lukea!

photo by my dear friend Sanni

few words and pics

To me, horse is a guide to my inner self, always showing the truth of who I am.



I'm not saying I am always able to look in to that mirror, but I am fully aware of it's existence.



I am working (too?) hard on trying to convince Olga that there can be equilibrium in our friendship. I still have a lot of learning to do.



She is 'there' (meaning here and now) already, I am still working on it.



To me, friendship with Olga means that she has equal saying in everything. Her 'no' is respected whenever possible. I am trying to learn not to have any expectations or timetables, just to enjoy little moments, like when she asks for scratching or decides to take a nap near me.

I have already learned so much, but this is a life-long journey.